Another day of PAIN! I am on Lyrica, Flexeril, Elavil, and pain killers. The Lyrica was great when I first started it. Now the Lyrica helps, but I am gaining a lot of weight. I admit that I do not help the situation with my eating habits; however, when we get to the mountains, I am sure that I will be walking the dogs and taking in the fresh air.
I imagine, from what I have read, this is a typical protocol. It works for me in a few ways: The Flexeril keeps my bladder from Spazing, and causing me to lose sleep. I wish I had something for breakthrough pain. The practitioner I go to is paranoid about prescribing narcotics because of a major problem with a pain center here in Myrtle Beach. As a result, I do not feel as though I am able to be the person that I can be. I really do not care about remote risks of overdosing. I know that sounds a bit cavalier, but what I can do with the extra dosing is worth it to me. I do not have a life that is the least bit fulfilling. I intend to change that.
I lost two husbands to this mess. They simply could not understand. My first husband sais he was not going to support me, and he never carried me on his insurance plan. His previous wife was bi-polar, and needless to say he was not going to take on another wife with medical issues. We were married 2 years when the symptoms started. One of the things that I needed was the house to be cooler than the previous year. My husband would not permit me to change the thermostat. Yes, he was cheap.
My last husband was older than I by about 20 years. He wanted a woman who could turn him on (he had troubles). It turned out that I was not that woman, and he began to shop around on the Internet for a Chinese woman. He would wait until the sleeping pills kicked in to go down and do his thing on the computer. He was Canadian and I just loved it there. The snow was dry; you could not make a snowball with the powdery Saskatchewan snow. I did so much better while I lived there. The summers were short and pretty much cool. The temperature would peak at 80-F for three days, and summer was over! I loved it. In the winter we used a wood stove, and I lapped it just like the cat and the dog. The only time of real discomfort was spring when the snow melted, and the humidity was brutal for me.
There was a major rift between my Canuck and I. He had no conscience, and no desire to work through the major issues of trust, and our love life. When we first met, all was well in that department. Then menopause started to sneak up on me, which did not bode well for my husband. Unfortunately there was not money for me to see the doctor about that issue. We were barely getting by with getting my prescriptions.
In the end, he waited until I was visiting with my family in the US to call an end to our marriage. I am having a hard time letting go of it because I loved him so deeply. At my age (48), with Fibromyalgia, I apparently need to let go of ever having a good companion to share this crazy life with me!
My mother has been my salvation. She has carried me for so long that she cannot keep the house any longer. She is broke. My brother and his kids were here for quite a while too, but the end result is we are broke. We are moving to my brother's place in Pennsylvania to get some relief. We are moving in less than a week, and we are both goofing off. Mum is asleep and I am blogging!
